Long time, no see.

Wow guys, sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. Everything has been going pretty good. Finished radiation, which was a piece of cake compared to chemo. Going everyday at 8 in the morning was the hard part.

Everything is starting to hit me now. Whenever I was diagnosed, everything just kind of happened at once and I was too busy going through the treatments to actually put things into perspective. Now that I'm done, I want to be normal again instantly. Being an athlete and always being able to play tennis anytime I wanted to has made the healing process very hard. I still get out of breath easier, and I'm still very weak. Now that I'm done with all the physical treatments, the emotional part of this whole experience is starting to kick in. I just need to be patient and let recovery happen the way it's supposed to.

Whenever I was diagnosed, I had to go through a series of tests and scans to see how my body was before treatments started. Now, I have to do all of that again. Monday I go back up to Columbia for a full day of tests and scans. Heart tests, lung tests, meetings with my oncologists, and the worst of all.. the dreaded PET and CT scans. I don't know what it is about those scans, but I just really hate them. But, hey! Hopefully there won't be too many more of those.

Recovery is going to take a while, and it's very emotionally draining, but if I can make it through chemo and radiation, I know I can make it through the recovery process. Pray that everything goes well Monday and I'll get the results we're all hoping for!

Will update once the results are in. Thanks for all the support.

xoxo,

Tori

Baldy no more!

Ok, maybe I'm still bald. But, my hair is finally starting to grow.. slowly but surely. :) I got just a little bit of fuzz going on right now, but it's good to know that it's starting to come back.

I started radiation Monday. 8 in the morning is just a bit too early for me, but I'm doing alright so far. No pain or side effects yet, and it seems to be a pretty quick process.

Just thought I'd let everybody know I'm still good, and MY HAIR IS GROWING!

Don't stop praying yet.

xoxo,

Tori

It's been a while.

It's been a while since I've updated, just finally getting used to not having to go to Columbia everyday. Everything's been going good since the blood transfusion. It made me feel much more energized, and now my hemoglobin is back up to where it needs to be! Yay! I went to meet with the radiation oncologist Monday. That went pretty well.. had to take some tests and do another CT scan. Now I'm set to go back the 24th for a few more "setup" things, then I'll be ready to go for radiation.

Other than that, things have been pretty calm. No more surprise blood transfusions!

My shopping spree is now planned for Sept 25th! I'll let everybody know how that goes.

Keep praying.

xoxo,

Tori

Change of plans.

Well, didn't get my wish.. I'm in Columbia now waiting to get a blood transfusion. Pray that everything goes well and I'll be outta here by midnight :)

xoxo,

Tori

Chemo Grad

I officially got my "Chemo Grad" hat. Monday was my last day. It was very, very exciting. Got sung to, got some cool gifts, and also didn't feel so hot. I was sick for a couple days afterwards, but I've been feeling better since.

Except, things have gone downhill since yesterday. I guess it's a cumulative effect of all 4 cycles of chemo, but I got labs done yesterday, and they weren't very good. My white blood count was the lowest it's ever been, and my hemoglobin was really low. In order for me to start radiation, my hemoglobin has to be up to 10 and it's only 7 right now. On top of that, I've gotten a bit of a cold which is making them worry. I don't feel too bad with it, and it seems to be going away, but since my immune system is so weak, a cold just isn't a cold for me. If things don't get any better within the next few days, I will have to get a blood transfusion. I don't know details yet, but for now, I've been instructed just to take it easy. No school for me today. Most kids would be happy about that, but missing school is no fun. Especially when it seems I only get to go every other day. Blahhhh.

My parents are at the beach for their anniversary, and since things aren't going so hot for me right now, I'm heading down there for the rest of the weekend so they can keep an eye on me and make sure things don't get worse. Let's keep praying that this is the last little bump in the road I'll have to deal with, and I will be able to start radiation soon. I'm still keeping my head up and staying positive, thanks to all my support.

xoxo,

Tori

Did I mention how excited I am that I only have one more day of chemo?

I'm so beyond, incredibly, super duper excited to get this part over with. Although I still have more to go through, the ending of chemo makes everything seem so much closer to finished. Plus, all these chemicals in my body are just not feeling so hot. Imagine getting milliliters and milliliters and MILLILITERS of chemicals pumped right into your veins 3 days in a row. Then, it's like they just sit there in your tummy trying to make you feel the most bloated and sick you possibly can. THEN, you have to take about 12 million pills a day so you don't get sick. Oh, and after the pills, I have to get this really awful shot EVERY NIGHT to make sure I don't get an infection of some sort. My mom is starting to become an expert, but if only she knew how to work magic and make it not hurt so darn much. Yeah, it seems pretty horrible.. and it seems like I'm totally complaining (which I am) but the part I haven't got to yet is I would take all million pills, and all million milliliters of chemicals again and again and again if it made me better. And, guess what? I AM GETTING BETTER! So, thank you chemicals, pills, and shots for everything you've done. Thanks to you, and all the prayers, things are looking up and I will be back to normal in just a little while :)

I will save the rest of my excitement to share with you guys until after Monday when I am OFFICIALLY done with chemo.

Keep praying.

xoxo,

Tori

Round 4

The finish line is getting closer. Sitting at the clinic now getting my last round of chemo. I've got today, tomorrow, Thursday, and Monday.. then no more chemo! I'll keep everybody updated on how I'm feeling throughout the week. Keep the prayers coming!

xoxo,

Tori

Baldy.

Dear Hair,

Please come back soon. I miss you very much.

Love,

Tori

3 down.. 1 to go!

Sorry everybody.. haven't had much of a chance to update lately. It seems like the past month, I have been going and going and going. I just finished my 3rd cycle of treatment today, so only one more to go! I'll start that one the 23rd of August, start getting back into school, then get some radiation. Doesn't sound too bad, but when we all know impatience kicks in and it seems like it takes forever. I did talk to somebody today though that had a child going through a 3 year treatment course, so I consider myself very lucky!

This cycle of treatment hasn't been quite so bad. Just really tired and can't seem to catch up on my rest. I partially blame myself for that. I just hate lazing around. I would much rather be out keeping busy, even if my body is sometimes telling me not to.Which also probably explains my crankiness lately. I'm sorry if you've had to deal with any of it! I promise it's not personal. Just let me get through all this and I will make up for it! :)

All of the out-of-town family and friends have been passing through lately. It's been so nice seeing all of you!

Only a couple more weeks and I'll be back in school. I'm sure I'll regret saying this later, but I'm looking forward to it. Let's face it.. this isn't really the summer I was hoping for. Starting school means closer to ending treatment, and I'll finally be able to celebrate a break from school without having to deal with all this cancer crap!

I know I say this every blog entry, but all of your support has just been unbelievable. It has really helped me get through this and keep a positive attitude.. even if I don't always have the energy to show it. I owe all of you such a huge thank you.. and of course this won't be the last one you'll get. Things should start slowing down soon and hopefully I'll have more time to update, but until then.. keeping me in your thoughts and prayers is all I ask. :)

Big One-Nine!

Happy birthday to me!!!!!! :)

GREAT NEWS!

I've been really busy this past week or so. But, I finally have some down time while I'm getting my chemo to update everybody.

Got my PET scan results.. and NO MORE DISEASE! Great news! However, I still have to go through 2 more cycles of chemo and then radiation. It's not the cancer that makes me feel yucky, it's all the treatment and medicines I have to get. So, that's no fun.. but it helps knowing that the medicine is working!

I'm sitting in the clinic now waiting to start my chemo. They are going pretty slow today. I've been here for almost 3 hours and they haven't even started the medications yet. It's going to be a long day... Laura is here keeping me company though which is awesome :)

I'll update everybody in a couple days to let you know how this cycle is going. Let's hope for the best! Your prayers are working, so keep 'em coming!

xoxo,

Tori

Still smiling!

I'm on break now until August 2nd, woo hoo! Not feeling 100% yet, but things could always be worse! There isn't really much to update on right now, but Laura and her boyfriend are coming in TOMORROW so I will be busy for the next couple weeks and won't be able to update as much as I'd like. I will let everybody know the results of my PET scan as soon as I get them. The results are basically just used to see how fast my body is responding to the chemo. Nothing will really happen after I get the results unless I'm responding very slowly, then more cycles of treatment could be added on. But, keep your fingers crossed that everything will stay as planned! If everything stays the same, I will finish chemo August 31st, then I have radiation after that. The only number I've heard for radiation is 3 weeks.. but I'm not sure if that's definite yet or not. If so, I could be done with everything by October! But.. let's not get ahead of ourselves. Everything will be over eventually, and I will have long, gorgeous, curly hair!

Thanks to everybody who is still praying, and wearing my "Tori's Fight" bracelets.

xoxo,

Tori

"Keep chuggin' along, keep singin' your song"

Just a quick update.

Feeling much better now! No more throwing up, and I've been able to eat pretty normal compared to the first couple days. Everything is going smoothly. Still taking tons of medicine, and I'm back on my shot.. but not too much to complain about!

Tomorrow will mark the end of the half way point of chemo! It will be the last day of my 2nd cycle, then I have two left. Woo hoo! I also have another PET scan on the 29th to look at the progress. Let's hope those cancer cells are saying goodbye!

Brian, Carson, and Aunt Pam are here now, always good to see them! Laura and her boyfriend come next week, so these past couple weeks are staying busy! I will keep everybody updated as much as possible.

xoxo,

Tori

Yucky

Yesterday.. well, yesterday was absolutely horrible. The worst day I've had with the treatment so far. I got home from Columbia around 6 o'clock, and started throwing up almost an hour afterward and didn't really stop throwing up until everything in my stomach was gone and I fell asleep. Throwing up has always been something I hated doing, so I tried to hold it in as much as possible yesterday.. but it wasn't letting me. It was coming up whether I wanted it to or not.

I'm doing better so far today. Still a little bit of a weak stomach, and no appetite but, I don't feel as bad as I did yesterday. The doctor also prescribed me another nausea medicine that is a gel I rub on my wrists and it supposedly works immediately. So, hopefully with 3 different nausea medications, I will be able to keep it under control.

Big thanks to my mom, dad, and JP for being so supportive and helping me through yesterday.. and every other day of this journey. Also, huge thanks to Aunt Janey and everybody else who has gone with me to treatments. I am the luckiest girl alive when it comes to support and the amount of prayers I'm getting. I can't say thank you enough.

Day 3 of treatment tomorrow, then I get a little mini break until next Tuesday. Let's hope I start keeping all my food down, and I can stop getting to know the toilet.

Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers.

xoxo,

Tori

Fuzzy

Wellllllll, the rest of my hair fell out yesterday and now I'm only left with a little fuzz. Here's a couple pictures..

2nd cycle of treatment starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!

xoxo,

Tori

Cycle #2.. Coming right up!

Only a couple more days until my 2nd cycle of treatment starts, and boy am I dreading it! I'm finally back to feeling normal, so I've got to enjoy my last few days. My hair is coming out like crazy now. I'm shedding like a dog. It's very annoying, but I'm not looking forward to losing even the little bit of hair I have left. Don't think I can pull off the Mr. Clean look! :) And of course, I've only lost the hair on my head so far. Still have to shave my legs!

No more shots for now! My white count went from 1.4 to 25. How crazy is that?! I don't know how there is any way I could get sick now!

Just wanted to give a little mini update before I started my next cycle. Let's hope everything goes as smoothly as last time!

Wigs, hats, and scarves.

I am finally back to feeling normal. No weakness or nausea anymore. I do still get tired faster, but I'm not complaining about the naps. :) The only thing that has been hard the past couple days is losing my hair. I said before that they say it comes out between day 10-14, and mine came out day 13. I just rubbed my hands through my hair and about 10 strands came out in my hand. So, instead of having hair fall out in clumps, I just went ahead and shaved it. I cried, and cried, and cried while JP and my mom shaved my hair, but I'm okay with it now. It's just hair, right?! It takes some getting used to, but I'll get used to it and it'll all be grown back before I know it!

Everybody has been so, so, so supportive. I am so lucky to have such awesome friends and family. I am not always able to thank everybody as much as I wish to, so take this as a big thank you to anybody and everybody who is praying for me. I really appreciate it.

Mom has been taking lots of pictures, so I decided I was finally ready to show everybody my bald head. I don't have any pictures of my wigs yet, but those will be up as soon as I get some.

 Before.

During.

After.

Too sexy for my hair

Well, I jinxed myself.. my hair is gone.

1st cycle.. D-O-N-E!

My first cycle of chemo is done!!!!!! Yay!!!

Tuesday was a very short day. I was only there about an hour, got 2 medicines, checked my blood counts and I was on my way! My blood counts were good for now which is always good to hear.

I felt beyond tired today and had absolutely no energy. But that could be due to the fact that JP and I shopped 'til we dropped at the beach yesterday, and saw Eclipse which was very good by the way :)

I forgot to tell everybody when I noticed, but a few days ago I noticed that the original lump that started everything is now gone, which is an excellent sign! Well, it's not gone.. but it's not protruding out anymore. It may be still be protruding inward, but that will be something to find out after my 2nd cycle when I get more $16,000 scans. Ridiculous, right?

I'm now down to only taking 2 pills a day Monday-Wednesday and a shot every night. I would love to take 3 shots a day instead of having to take these HUUGGEEE pills everyday.  I am the world's worst pill taker. I break the pill into about 5 pieces and take one at a time. Except the other day I only broke it into 3 pieces, one being very square and pointy which totally scratched my throat and has been bothering me for the past 3 days. :/ That's my biggest complaint at the point. Also, my mom wants me to make a point that she is "doing very well with the shot and not using it as any form of stress relief." Happy, Mom? But, really.. she's been quite a good nurse.

My hair is still in tact. They say it takes about 10-14 days to lose, and it's day 10. So, it may not be much longer. But, the nurses Tuesday acted like I would have already seen some sign of hair loss, and I haven't yet.. so maybe it'll wait until next cycle? Let's hope so anyways!

I was supposed to be on my way to Indiana/Michigan right now, but unfortunately all of this got in the way. But, gotta do what I gotta do! Just me, my mom, and JP this weekend. PARTY! Haha, riiiiiight.

I won't be updating as much since I don't get treatment again until the 13th, but I will still throw in some mini updates in between now and then. Your prayers are still greatly appreciated!!

xoxo,

Tori

Just a quick update

Feeling much better the past few days. Finally got to stop taking my nausea medicine.. Yay! Hopefully the chemo Tuesday won't cause too many side effects. Still pretty tired though.

Also, went to the beach yesterday to go wig shopping with my parents and sister. :) Got a couple! One is just the cutest little thing. It's a hat that just has hair hanging out the bottom that looks pretty much identical to my hair, so that's awesome! The other is my hair color with some highlights in it. It takes some messing with.. but it doesn't look too bad :) I'll put pictures up once I have to start wearing them.

Had such a blast shaving JP's and his dad's hair last night. Their heads are now oh so shiny! Very sweet of them!

I will let everybody know how Tuesday goes.

xoxo,

Tori

Jaw pain.. go away!

Feeling much better today.. no more nausea and I've been able to eat pretty normal. Trying to gain back the 5 pounds I lost the last couple days. But, for some reason, one of my chemo medicines just wants to attack my jaw. Man oh man, it hurts! I don't understand what it is that makes the meds just attack my jaw.. but hey, I guess its better than aching all over, right?

Tonight will be my first night of taking my Neupogen shot. When I'm on chemo.. my body's white blood cells drop and cause my ability to fight infection to decrease. So, this shot will help with that. When my white blood cell count drops, the Neupogen decreases the amount of time it is dropped. My mom is giving me the shot and lets hope she doesn't use it as a stress relief like she did with the practice rounds yesterday.. jabbing at the fake skin! Haha, I'm sure she'll do fine :)

Got my hair cut yesterday.. very short! Its up to my chin, which is the shortest I've had it since I was very, very little. I think I really like it now, plus it should make the transition to bald a little bit easier. Also, I got a free wig yesterday from the "Wig Room" at McLeod. It's not my hair color, and it's not very cute.. so going to the beach tomorrow to see my sister and do some more wig shopping! Yay, let's hope I find something!

No more chemo again until Tuesday :) Update everybody then!

xoxo,


Tori

Pictures!

Only 2 medicines today, woop woop! I felt worse afterwards though. :( Absolutely no appetite, very weak, tired and a bit nauseous. I got a milkshake and some peanut butter crackers, then JP and I took another good walk so I'm a bit better now.

But, my mom has been taking lots of pictures so I thought I would share some with everybody :)

Outside the hospital :)

 In my chemo room.

My nurse giving me the "red devil" chemo medicine. Its called the red devil because it's red, causes the most nausea, and one of the ones that is going to cause me to lose my hair.

My wonderful boyfriend by my side the whole way :) Love him!








 

The therapy dog, Lucky!

 They brought us arts and crafts to keep us occupied.

Working hard.

Finished product!












Not in the pictures, but my mom, dad, and Aunt Janey have all gone to treatments so far, and they've been awesome! :) Thanks for everything.

xoxo

Tori

First Day of Chemo

Today was my first day of chemo, and overall it went well. 

My parents, JP, and I left around 6:30 to be there around 8:00. I first had to take a PFT (Pulmonary Function Test) which is just a test that measures my lungs and breathing. Immediately after that we headed to the clinic to start my chemo. We got there about 9:00. Dr. Laura came and talked to all 3 of us about the meds and side effects of each other and then about after an hour conversation, I finally started my chemo. Chemotherapy basically consists of me sitting in a room, and them just sticking me in my port and putting a lot of medicine in through an IV. I got 7 medicines today, all with names I can not remember, or really even spell/pronounce if I needed to. I was at the clinic from about 9-4:30. Very long day! But, I felt perfectly fine..

..until I got home. After I ate and everything, I got very, very, very nauseated..which is to be expected. But, I was still hoping I would be a lucky one :) It only lasted about 30 minutes.. then my dad got home with my medicine cabinet. I now have 5 different , 2 for nausea (Thank God!) to take, and one will be added on Friday. My dad is of course freaking out at the fact like I have to take any sort of pills, but unfortunately we're both going to have to get used to it.

Again, the day was better than expected, but I could have definitely done without the nausea. Actually, I would have loved to do without ALL of it.. but whatever it takes to get rid of this crap :) I go back tomorrow, and Thursday. Luckily those days won't last forever and I'll be out of there in just a couple hours.


Wig shopping soon! And I heard today how my hair is very likely to grow back curly.. awesome! 


Thanks again for everything and I will keep everybody updated. 

xoxo,

Tori

Beginnings

When I first found out about having cancer, I was really confused and didn't have a clue what I was in for. My brother, Eric, sent me a link to a blog of a girl who had just recovered from my same situation. Being able to read it helped me out tremendously, so I decided to create a blog to maybe help somebody else one day. Also, it is very hard to find time to keep everybody updated. I figured this would be a good, convenient way for everybody to receive updates.

For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma a couple weeks ago. Hodgkin's Lymphoma is a form of cancer that affects the lymph nodes. In all started about a month ago when I discovered a lump on my chest, right under my collar bone. I found it on a Sunday, and went to the doctor Monday. The next week I went through a series of tests: an ultrasound, a CT scan, and a biopsy. The biopsy is what determined that the lump was a enlarged lymph node and I had Hodgkin's.

Having an awesome aunt and uncle in the medical field, I was referred to a pediatric oncologist in Columbia. Last Friday, Mom, Dad, Aunt Laurie and I went to meet with the doctor and get some tests done. The doctor is awesome! Definitely worth the drive to Columbia. After a long 7 hours of tests, they did find cancer in more areas besides the one swollen lymph node. Luckily the areas are very small. Just this Tuesday, Mom, Dad, JP, and I went back to Columbia for me to get surgery to place a portocath (it has a fancier name, but I'm not sure what it is) in my chest. The portocath is used for my chemotherapy and any other injections they may need to make such as taking blood, etc. Lots and lots of pain after the surgery, but it does decrease as the days go on. :) Also, during the surgery I had a bone marrow biopsy to check my bones for cancer. Good news is, my bones are cancer-free! This officially means I am in Stage 2. This means that the cancer affects two or more lymph node regions all on the same side of my body.

Fortunately, I have not experienced any cancerous symptoms yet, other than being tired more often. I am still able to work and continue with normal life. However, I start chemotherapy Tuesday. The chemotherapy consists of 21 day cycles. I am not completely sure as to how many cycles it will take. The last I heard, I will be going on Days 1, 2, and 3 (which is next Tues, Wed, and Thurs) then I will go get more chemo on Day 8. I have no idea how chemo is going to go and how my body will react, but let's hope for the best! :)

I will keep everybody updated as to what happens Tuesday, and anything else that may happen between now and then. Most entries won't be this long, but I had to catch everybody up.

My support systems have kept me strong, and I know they will only continue to be amazing. I am so lucky to have such amazing family members, parents, friends, and such an awesome boyfriend. I really appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.

xoxo,

Tori